A woman is being encouraged to reconsider her marriage after her husband said he would rather have a surrogate deliver his child than his wife have a water birth
You don’t have to have given birth to know that delivering a child is an incredible accomplishment and it truly is amazing what the human body can do.
Anyone who has given birth will tell you it’s not easy. In fact, it’s actually very difficult, and there are a number of different ways to go about it – depending on the circumstances.
Of course, it’s up to the mum to decide what kind of delivery she wants in her birth plan, based on personal preferences and advice from her midwife, whether she opts for a C-section, a straight up natural birth with nothing but gas and air, or even a water birth.
However, one woman has found herself in an incredibly upsetting situation, after her husband announced he would never forgive her if she opted to deliver via a water birth, because he believes the pain of a natural birth is what bonds the mother to her child.
Although the woman is not actually pregnant yet, they are trying and are hoping to conceive over the next few months.
“I have previously told my husband I would ideally like a water birth, which he was totally against. He is very much of the opinion that a ‘normal birth on land’ has worked for thousands of years so why should I want to do something different,” the woman explained on Mumsnet.
“Last night I brought it up again after reading a study that showed water births can decrease tearing and generally improve a mother’s wellbeing during childbirth. He believes that the more pain you go through, the better your bond with your baby, and cites statistics about mothers who have C-sections being more likely to develop PTSD or post-natal depression.”
The woman continued to explain that arguing with her husband was “like debating with a child,” because “he doesn’t listen to my point of view or really take my feelings into consideration at all in the situation.”
According to the woman, he told her: “I’d rather we find a woman who will carry your egg and give a normal birth than choosing to lay my eggs in water when they should be laid in a nest.”
She added: “I mean come on… He basically said if I had a water birth he would never forgive me. I’ve said we can speak to a doctor or a midwife and seek their advice but he is dead set against it and has ‘had his last word on it.’
“Am I being unreasonable to think that ultimately the way I give birth is my decision, and he should have more consideration for how I will feel in this whole thing?”
Hundreds of Mumsnet users were quick to respond to the woman’s post, with many questioning whether she’s absolutely sure she wants to have a child with this man.
“Oh ffs tell him to grow up, your body your decision. If he has such t***y views about birth what else does he have stupid views on,” one commented. “Do you really want a child with this man?”
Another added: “Errr well I wouldn’t be planning on having a baby with him first of all. He sounds like an arrogant sexist pig. No uterus, no opinion.”
“It’s not too late to dump his pathetic misogynist a*** and have a child with an actual decent human being,” a third suggested. “Also, how you give birth is your decision alone. He doesn’t get a say.”